“Jared! I wanna talk to you. Get in here, kid.”
The boss’s gruff voice fell on Jared’s ears like sandpaper from across the office, and not solely due to the boss’s natural grit. This summons was the call of a man who had something important to discuss and around this, office this was never a good thing. The oldest occupation, sales, was competitive from the dawn of man, and here was not the place tradition went to die. Here it thrived, a festering wound on the face of humanity that constantly distracted and deterred those involved from achieving real, genuine interaction.
A thirty-three year old man with eternally crooked glasses, indecisive posture and well groomed hair was the target of today’s call, to the genuine surprise of those around The Who inhabited the same earthly plane. He always seemed to be on time, never rocked the boat, and kept his head down in meetings despite earning bragging rights around the office for continuously exceptional sales figures. For the boss to take issue with this meek salesman was odd. However, it was of little consequence to his peers - they’d largely forgotten about it seconds after Jared rose from his seat, crossed the office with a stumbling gait and closed the boss’ door behind himself.
“Sir,” he quivered, unable yet to overcome his internal trembling to take a seat, “I’m thirty-three years old.”
The boss was always hard to read. This was a man who one would assume would have had some sort of distinguished career in sports - large, muscular to no end, and audibly imposing. Every word that left his mouth shook your core with a timber unmatched by any other sales manager in the country, most likely the entire world. To an outsider, his physical prowess may seem wasted on this tiny office chair at his equally tiny desk in this office that he alone could fill half of if he stretched, but to an insider, they knew that was exactly what gave him this position of power, and what allowed him to excel. His presence intimidated employees and it intimidated clients into doing exactly what he wished, and this lead to several prosperous quarters under his administration. Truthfully, this man was the pinnacle of human achievement, if your idea of human achievement is driving others to wither away while stealing money from other people in exchange for things they didn’t need to purchase.
Jared was exceedingly observant, and knew all this and more about his boss within a few weeks of accepting this job. That had been over five years ago. Jared knew what kind of discussion he expected to have with his boss after hearing his name shouted across the office.
Instead, the giant burst into laughter.
“Jared!” He bellowed in between laughing fits. “I didn’t expect you to be such a man about it! Take a seat; I wanna make this quick, and I refuse to make an offer to somebody like this if they’re not even at eye level.”
It turned out Jared was getting a job offer. Somewhere far away, a town where he knew nobody, with a brand new sales team. If he accepted it, has was just one step away from becoming a sales manager himself. He could have his own branch one day. Maybe afford a gym membership so he could fill out that dress shirt, as the boss so kindly put it.
“But sir, I... all my...”
“What? Come on, all your what? What’s in this town that’s tying you down? You do good work out there, kid, and this is our chance to show the kind of employee this office can produce. Good for me, good for you.”
“My friends here would really miss me.”
The boss became quiet, eyes lowering from Jared’s, and Jared had the impression the boss was trying to avoid eye contact for a reason.
“You can keep in touch with people even from a few states away. Plus, with a new team, I mean... You’ll make new friends, kid. I think you really need this opportunity. Consider it.”
Opportunity was not a word Jared was used to hearing, which is why he didn’t immediately decline the boss’ offer. As he closed the door to the small, private office, he scanned the room eagerly for any prying eyes, but didn’t catch any darting away as if to invite further conversation. Everyone had forgotten about his meeting with the boss already.
As Jared went back to work, he thought, certainly somebody would ask him about the excitement from around the office earlier in the da After all, the last time somebody was called in like that, it was when Peter from HR was caught stealing company time to build model planes in the annex office spaces. That was everyone’s conversations around the water cooler for at least a week - didn’t anyone want to hear about Jared?
The answer was clear about five minutes after five, when the office cleared out without even a passing glance in Jared’s direction. It was a tough conclusion to come to, but one he probably should have come to long ago after years passing without a single, real, legitimate conversation occurring between him and any coworkers.
Nobody in this office gave a shit about Jared.
His eyes flooded with involuntary tears as he gathered his belongings for the day in his satchel. Before he had the chance to screen his emotions the boss walked out from his desk and placed a sympathetic hand on Jared’s shoulder.
“See, kid, I told ya... You need a break. This new job, a new office, a new town... You need thi-“
“When do I start?”
A relieved smile spread across the boss’ entire body.
“I can get you outta here by next week. Take the week off before you go to pack. I’ll be in touch with more details.”
It seemed perfect now, though a few hours earlier it had been the last thing Jared ever thought he would do. Relocation pay, increased salary, and a new position of power with an all-new team of first time employees to lead in sales under a tenured manager the boss had recommended for the position. This was exactly the change Jared needed. Without it, it was clear he would die much younger than his parents.
Jared had readied himself for the move by his third day off work, but the boss wasn’t able to accommodate travel plans any earlier. So he spent the last few days in his old home practicing speech to make a good first impression on his new peers. He imagined a thousand different scenarios; asking the sales team where they all came from, joking with the accounting team about who among them was most likely a serial killer based on first impressions, and any other social interaction he might have with these new faces. He’d managed to convince himself that his first impression at this company five years ago was the reason why today he was so friendless. His motivation was a full bottle of champagne sitting alone in his now empty kitchen, waiting for something worth celebrating and people to celebrate with. Yes, he was moving on to better things. But there was still nobody else around to celebrate it.
He had completely detached himself by the seventh day and was able to hit the road, no qualms about leaving his home behind. Suddenly the road was a thing of the past and he was in a hotel paid for by his company, picking out the best shade of blue for his tie the first day in the new office. After his suit was picked out and hung outside his closet, he spent the night apartment hunting, but had to give up after about a half hour of slowly loading webpages and an overwhelming sense of dread over picking out a place he’d have to be happy with for years to come.
The next morning he arrived early, and as he pulled up to the parking lot he realized he was too early. Not even the manager was here yet; 7:15. For good measure, he pulled back out of the parking lot and parked on the street about half a block west, wearing sunglasses so as to not be identified. Unsure of what the new boss drove, he monitored traffic with exhausting focus, trying to guess when he would arrive. When somebody finally arrived, he made sure to wait about three minutes before pulling his car back into the parking lot, only driving when he was certain nobody would spot him pulling around from his parking spot across the street. No need to make a first impression that embarrassing before even seeing these people face to face.
The office building was brand new, a true testament to a budding new architect’s vision of the world of sales. Glass walls separated the offices, the only one having blinds being the new boss. The new boss was already settled in, and it looked like he was talking to somebody from HR. He didn’t get up to show Jared around when he saw him enter, instead, he continued his conversation with a familiar fervor, seemingly disregarding Jared’s entrance.
Conceding the idea of a tour, he found his space easily enough and prepared to greet his coworkers.
About 8:30 was when people began to arrive, shaking hands and exchanging names. Jared sat in his office and watched as they all chose their seats and signed into their new computers. Enjoying the atmosphere, he chose to observe a while longer. Everybody was getting along well, which put a small, creeping smile on his face. Soon he would leave his office doors to introduce himself as their sales lead, and within days he’d have all their contact information and hopefully, plans to spend time as people outside of their work environment.
But first...
No, really, what was he waiting for? Nobody else here was wasting time getting to know one another, and if he waited much longer nothing would change from his last position. He’d be at the bottom all over again, the pariah of the office, only spoken to when absolutely necessary.
He strode out his office door and closed it behind him. Unfortunately, unused to the fluidity of the new hinges, he used too much force doing so and the resulting slam of the door alerted the entire office to his presence at once. This, coupled with the near-cartoonish speed of his gait hushed the crowd of new faces. Stammering, he tried to get in a brief introduction.
“Hi, I-I’m new here. Well, uh, we all are, I guess, haha. My name is your sales lead. No. I am your new sales lead, my name is, umm, Jare-“
Another door flew open across the office as the new boss emerged from his own quarters, booming voice completely drowning out Jared’s.
“H E L L O ! I’m SO excited to open this new branch with ALLLL of you! Now let’s get down to business right away, I wanna lay down some office ground rules, and then talk about responsibility. Let’s all step into our lovely new conference room over here and get going!”
All eyes were completely removed from Jared, but he couldn’t decide right away if that was a good thing. One thing was for sure, and that was that this had been one of the absolute worst first impressions possible.
Ears red, he rushed into the conference room and found a seat in the back where he hoped not to be noticed. His body was long and slender and that made it difficult to not stand out, but nobody seemed too bothered by his presence at least. Now all that he had to do was survive this meeting and he could introduce himself to everybody later, individually. They would see that he’s really not all that awkward, he just had a really bad start to his day here - they should understand. If the first impression was bad he would make it up with the second. Yes, he convinced himself, this was going to be different. Just had to make it through this meeting.
Before long he felt eyes on himself again and lifted his head from his slouched position sheepishly to see the new boss and the entire office gazing in his direction.
“Jared, I was gonna introduce you to the office, but I heard you already did that for yourself! Ha! Anyways that’s him everybody, he’s your sales leader, so you betcha you can expect him to drop by your desk when he notices you’re slacking off! His job is to make sure you all stay motivated as a team. He’s gonna be my enforcer so I can focus on more office wide issues. Should be a good dynamic. We’ll see. Anyways, that’s, uh, him. Direct your sales related questions to him later. Moving on, let’s talk water cooler talk...”
Jared was completely speechless. Everybody’s eyes were off of him in an instant again, but what could he even say now? They knew his name, and now they knew him as the office ‘enforcer,’ and nobody would want to have to hear from him again. It was all over for him in this new office in an instant.
Jared left the meeting in utter defeat, slinking back to his office to close the door and lower the shutters. As expected, nobody approached his office to introduce themselves, and he didn’t go out there to do it himself because the thought of doing something else ridiculous in front of an entire office of people genuinely pushed him closer to ‘accidentally’ getting his tie caught in an industrial paper shredder in the warehouse.
The new boss didn’t need anything of Jared the first day, but through the following weeks he was given specific assignments that were all the same variation of ‘make sure this person is doing this differently and all of our jobs depend on you fixing this.’ It was somewhat harrowing but Jared was at least able to introduce himself personally. The problem was that it was entirely forced and everybody knew so; everybody knew they only heard from Jared when they were making mistakes. As such, he found himself wholly unable to cultivate even a single extracurricular relationship with anybody in the staff.
Once a week, he held a sales meeting to discuss top performers, their best practices, and while he tried to be as engaging as possible, absolutely nobody was engaged, or sometimes even conscious. The entire sales staff had simultaneously fallen asleep two weeks ago now, which was easy enough to understand, but hurtful nonetheless.
No luck was to be had with the accounting department, as it turned out they were an extremely close knit group of extended cousins and as they informed Jared, they were too busy running the numbers all day long for his little visits, which he slowly phased out of after that extremely one-sided conversation. When it came to connecting with HR, he had a little more success since their rep was often out of the office and so related to being somewhat of an outsider, but he was out frequently enough that it was tough to get to know him beyond any of the small details Jared could pick out from monthly conversations.
Time went on and Jared’s responsibilities grew as much as the distance between himself and his coworker’s personal lives. The new boss evidently saw this as an opportunity to tack more work and more projects on Jared, which he grew to appreciate. The more work he had to do the more he spoke to other people and the less he had to focus on what happened every single night after 5 when everybody clocked out and he watched the office filter out and everybody walked out together laughing and shaking hands and making plans and smiling and laughing at him and -
Another file fell on Jared’s desk with more gravity than the rest. The new boss didn’t say a word about it as usual and made his quick exit from Jared’s office, whistling as he high-fived one of the salesmen as he walked back to his office. Jared picked up the file he had just been given and found written instructions from the new boss for how the team was to spend their Friday evening.
Jared - I’m leaving the office early today, around 2 o’clock. We need to computerize our files - all of them! Keeping sales records in physical filing cabinets is extremely last century, and we need to bring this company to the next! If everyone stays an hour late they can get it done. I’m counting on you to organize this Jared!
He sunk even deeper into his seat. It was 2 o’clock right now, meaning the new boss hadn’t even bothered to give Jared the time to prepare the right words to present this to the team. Additionally, this was sure to do numbers for Jared’s reputation as the enforcer. A dark scowl spread from Jared’s eyes, and the longer he stared at this memo the farther it sank, eventually reaching his lips which were now pursed together in white-hot rage. There was no reason other than bad luck that Jared was in this position now with his peers, no reason he should get shit on so much at this job and at the last and by everybody he had always known, and as these thoughts and a million others raced through his brain in a maelstrom of insecurity he had an idea that could change everything.
He peered through his blinds across the office to the new boss’ which was fortunately vacant. Scanning the room, avoiding eye contact with slightly concerned eyes wondering why he was so ardently staring around, he determined the new boss was out of the building. Taking a moment to collect himself, straightening his tie and brushing back his hair, he strode out of his office with a cool confidence he quite literally had never displayed before even once in his life. Leaving his office was rare so he naturally drew more and more eyes the farther out he came, and by the time he reached the center of the open room he was sure he had everyone’s attention.
“Hello everyone! As you may have noticed our, uhh, fearless leader has stepped out for the day, and he gave me a special task to assign the whole office.” As he expected, this elicited an air of general annoyance.
“He wants us to stay late tonight and digitize all of our records - I know, I know, it’s a lo- it’s a shit ton of work. That’s why we’re not doing it. At least not on a Friday night, right?” Suddenly, Jared was on the receiving end of... applause. Nothing thunderous, but the guys clapped and the ladies cheered. It completely filled Jared’s body for a moment, giving him a sense of accomplishment and warmth that he hadn’t ever felt in his life.
“Now I want everybody to wrap up whatever you’re doing and get outta here, if the boss isn’t here why should we be? Let’s all enjoy ourselves tonight people!”
The office was empty within minutes. Some people came up to Jared and shook his hand, or better yet, pat him on the back. However, as Jared painfully took note, nobody extended the invitation to him to meet them at the bar he overheard them speaking about. The plans were for later that night, and he thought for sure something like this would at least get one person to speak up about it, but that chance died as the last employee walked out of the office.
Nothing.
It all goes to hell, it all goes to hell in the end. This place and its people and places and faces and names he'd remember that let him down, it would all go to hell soon, someday more soon than perceived by most. This wasn't hell, not yet, and he wasn't going, he couldn't let himself go there. No slipping. More focus, more drive, to avoid it.
Jared found himself across the street from the bar the entire office had planned to meet at. He could see them through the smudgy windows, actual human friends who wanted to be around each other. Noticing a sharp pain in the palms of his hands, Jared looked down and found his untrimmed nails had dug into his skin a little from clenching his fists too hard.
Relax, relax, relax, or it'll happen again. You'll end up there again.
He sat in his car for an hour, getting out to refill the meter every 15 minutes, and every time he was startled to be doing so. Why stick around? Why watch what infuriated him to no end? Why inflict this much pain inwardly? The pressure was building to nearly insurmountable levels, so just as the last hint of orange from a dead sunset faded in orbit around the city, he drove off from the scene.
This was a desert town, and the outskirts were largely unexplored, at least by Jared. Since arriving here 100% of his time was spent at the office, his hotel room, or the commute in between. The city itself was unremarkable, with few sights to be seen and nothing to do without anybody to do things with, so he sailed past all of it and directed his car onto a highway which lead to the barren dunes and dirt roads that surrounded this place.
Listening to no music, barely even keeping an eye on the road, Jared drifted alone that night, with not even a single passing headlight to give him company. Eventually the highway lost its lights, which didn't much matter, but was interesting enough for Jared to remember about this place. Later still, he had to roll his windows back up, as the desert dust whipping itself through his car and into his skin proved to be too much to handle. And finally, after miles of near-zero visual sensory input, he saw a sign. A small, rundown billboard with the lights out and the material itself in tatters. It advertised a diner off the next exit and down the first left, open 24/7. including holidays.
A dull hunger had been growing in his stomach this whole drive - or maybe it came from this sign? Either way, it was something new, something different, and if it was still open, Jared would appreciate the chance to eat at this hour. He found the next exit marker bent nearly in half, but pulled off the road, straight half a mile, took a left around a large hill, and saw what he had came to this town for.
Heaven tonight would be this neon light-gilded diner, red and blue tubes dancing around the sharp corners of the roof and swooping around to make big loops around their home, which was a lit sign reading
D E S E R T D U N E S D I N E R
The parking lot was empty but well kept, parking spaces clearly demarcated by freshly painted lines. The windows of the diner were exceptionally clean and transparent, and through them he could see a woman, all alone, cleaning a table with reverence. She didn't react to Jared's car sputtering into its parking spot, just kept scrubbing away with intense focus and a distant look in her eyes.
Opening the door set off a bell that made her look up from her work, and her expression was pure elation. It was clear this place hadn't seen a visitor in a long time, but just how long Jared couldn't guess.
She greeted him like an old friend, seated him in the cleanest, most well lit booth and gave him a menu straight away. Her clothes were freshly washed and smelled like perfume, the whites in her striped blouse were as dazzling as the teeth in her bright smile and her eyes refused to break contact with Jared's as she asked him what he'd like to drink.
A coffee, he managed to get out, worried he'd be caught stuttering.
Cream and sugar?
Yes.
I'll have it right out for you, sir, right away.
She disappeared into the kitchen where Jared could see she was obviously preparing his drink herself. There didn't seem to be another soul in this diner; he planned to ask her about that when she returned. A monsoon of questions flooded his mind, like how long this place had been around for, who was the owner, why was nobody else here, but none of them made it out of his mouth before or after she returned, because when she returned, she returned with a kiss.
Unexpected, passionate, confusing, consuming, Jared couldn't react in any other manner than to return her embrace. Before long his mind was completely lost to the throes of passion, cramped in their booth and warm from the desert air blowing in from the open kitchen window and across their bare backs. This was like nothing Jared had experienced with a woman before, remembering the few sexual interactions he'd had in his lifetime.
He left that night, completely dumbstruck, with a promise to return to her every weekend at her request. She promised there would be no other guests when he was there, briefly explaining that the weekends in the desert weren't good for business. Seeing no reason to question this simple fact, he agreed to come see her again, and again, and again.
She was all he would think about that weekend. He flirted with the idea of visiting her the following night, but remembered she had said she preferred to see him on Fridays. That was enough to keep him away in the hopes of not ruining this new connection. Instead, he sat in his hotel room and returned to the apartment hunt. He could afford a much bigger place than before, especially since he was selling the house from back home. The realtor said they’d be making a 150% turnover on the property his parents had left behind as his inheritance - it would be enough money to live off of for awhile. However, even the luxury apartments in this town were fairly small, so he settled that night on touring a 1,000 square foot apartment about 30 minutes from his office. He booked a tour for the following day and went to sleep with a smile on his face for the first time in months.
He found himself knocking on the door to what would soon be his new apartment at noon the next day. When he shook the hand of the woman who greeted him, his grip and vigor clearly threw her off rhythm, but Jared kept his swagger, waltzing in past her and circling around slowly as he examined the lighting fixtures, the furnished kitchen, the hard wood floors and newly renovated bathrooms. It was perfect - plenty of space for one man to spread out. And who knew? Maybe if things go well with this new woman...
“I’ll take it!”
“Very good, sir, but there’s an application, we need to do a background check, and I’ll need proof of employment as well -“
“A what?”
The realtor was visibly confused as he interrupted her.
“What’s what?
Jared’s expression turned sour for just a brief moment before he realized another person could see it, and he tried to brighten his smile and shine his teeth before awkwardly choking out his next question.
“A, uhh, background check?”
“Yes, it’s standard practice in this city - I understand you’re new. All new renters are subject to background checks - we can’t deny you living space based on what we find, but it’s necessary to find individuals who may not report themselves properly as sexual predators.”
“Oh. Understood.”
There was no risk here - Jared had no criminal record. Still, the idea sent a shiver down his spine. This background check - could they dig further than paper, into his heart, and see what lies beyond?
That’s ridiculous.
“What is?”
“Uh - sorry, excuse me, I was just talking to myself. That’s fine, perfectly fine. I’ll fill out whatever paperwork you need, I just, uhh, have to go for now. I’m tired of the hotel I’m stuck in so I just want to get a move on. Here’s my email...”
After exchanging further intact information he practically staggered out of the property, down all 4 flights of stairs to his level and rushed it to his car. Unsure of why he felt so uneasy, he knew leaving would ease the anxiety he now felt.
Jared went to his office to get a start on digitizing records - he figured if he stayed all night and all day Sunday he could finish the task on his own and the new boss would never suspect a thing.
It was a backbreaking weekend, and come Monday it was back to business as usual. No warm welcome from his coworkers as they filed into the office. The new boss, as Jared hoped, left him well enough alone. He had managed to finish digitizing every single paper record, and filled an extra office with all the old, outdated paper copies, awaiting their fate of shredding.
Something had to change and it had to change soon. Even with the weekend promise of his new affair, if this isolation continued in his work life, Jared knew it would all become too unbearable. Come lunchtime, his blood was ice as he slowly approached a group of three coworkers with an empty seat next to one of them. There was nobody else eating here, and he would normally just go sit at another table to avoid getting in the way. But today he knew a change had to be made and it was abundantly clear that other people were not going to be the ones to change things. Practically limping over to their table now, he maned to squeak out
“Do you guys mind if I, uhh, eat lunch with you?”
They all turned at once to look at him.
Oh no, oh god, he thought. I just interrupted them. They’re going to tell everyone how strange I’m being right now - how strange I’ve always been to them. Why did I try to make things better?
“Sure, Jared! Everyone was wondering when you’d stone up and start hanging out with us!”
A woman named Jenny was the first to speak up, and flashed a beaming smile at him afterwards
Oh, what relief! The ice was gone and a radiating warmth was here, and suddenly Jared realized how silly he had been throughout this whole affair. Everything he imagined others saw within were just his own insecurities being reflected - nobody ever truly hated him. By the end of a very pleasant hour he had learned Jenny has two dogs, both Great Danes, Mark was going through his third divorce with some model in her 20’s and Jason was trying to get an office softball league started. There were a few other offices in town who he had gotten support from, and if he wanted to, Jared could still sign up before they brought the petition to the new boss.
With newfound camaraderie, days and weeks flew by. Every Friday night he was with his girl, and on the occasional weekend he would go out to some bars in town with his coworkers. Being included was so very strange, but it was a new experiment he welcomed. By the time he found himself making plans for dinner with his neighbors, he barely even remembered having to move into his new apartment. It was as if life had just been accelerated by some divine force, each moment lasting just long enough to leave a good memory, with little to no hardship in between events. Now that work life had all but few stressors removed, and his love life was a literal dream, Jared had no reason to complain.
Do you love me?
Huh? I’m sorry, what?
He found himself facing the woman of his dreams - disheveled hair, uniform mostly unbuttoned, eyes wide open and staring back at his.
Jared had been here every Friday night for the past year now, and every encounter was the same. He’d arrive around 6, order a coffee, and the two of them would make love until their bodies gave out. When he felt hunger, he’d bid her adieu for the night and go home to make some cheap frozen meal to tide himself over until the next day, when life returned to normal. He had never considered how he felt until this moment, when she asked him so tenderly, if he loved her.
I think I do, my dear.
That’s very good, darling. I think I need to meet your friends.
Friends? Yes, I think I’ll bring them by sometime soon.
She was tied to her work, so they agreed he would bring some people by sometime soon. He kissed her goodbye and went home that night and hoped that maybe some coworkers at some point would take up his suggestion to get dinner at his all-time favorite diner.
A twinge of sadness did hit him, occasionally, when he thought of writing home to tell his old friends and his family about how great things were going for him, but this wasn’t an option he had the luxury of partaking in. The past was not a place Jared could survive delving into.
This whirlwind of reminiscence for the present was interrupted by the sound of his doorbell ringing - the neighbors! They had arrived, he knew, and he was reflecting for far too long to remember to defrost the chicken or start early on the ingredients. He had invited his neighbor and their wife over for dinner, as he learned the young couple had just recently returned from their honeymoon. Not knowing them well enough to offer an expensive gift, he presumed this would have been a good way to booth introduce himself in a more concrete way, and form even more new friendships.
They were understanding of his forgetfulness, and aftertastes they came in, the young husband suggested they go out for dinner instead.
“Yes!” Jared piped up. “I know just the place. This little diner outside of town... The food is incredible.”
Or at least, he really hoped so. These past several months Jared had never tasted a single dish other than coffee made by his lover - they were always alone, and always both too eager to engage physically for Jared to ever try a single dish her diner offered. Afterwards, though, when they lied together, sweaty and sticking to the vinyl booths, she would always sing high praises of their menu - 24/7 breakfast, lunch or dinner with dishes from every cultural corner of the world.
“Sounds great - we can take your car?”
The young wife was gorgeous - the husband as well, if Jared was being honest. He could feel her smile pulling up the corners of Jared’s own lips. And so, he obliged.
Jared’s car was old, but had plenty of space in the backseat. The newlyweds were obviously trying to be polite, but Jared caught them on multiple occasions sneaking kisses and touches and just generally being in love. This didn’t bother him too much; after all, they would likely soon be eating at a table where he himself had very recently been with a woman.
Would she be upset he was bringing company on a Saturday night? He had mentioned his dinner plans the previous night, and the waitress beauty had said she wished she could be there, but Saturdays were big nights for them, and so she would have to sit this one out. She would have no idea Jared would be returning with company...
He put the thought out of his head as he pulled off the exit to reach the diner when he saw the familiar flashing of lights from multiple police cruisers. Hoping it was unrelated to his plans, he pressed on towards the diner, the young couple in his backseat hardly seeming to mind as they now found it difficult to pry their lips from one another’s.
Soon enough, though, he reached a police barricade blocking the parking lot to his heaven. Nothing else was right, either. The bright neon tubes were all dim now, no electric hum, with visible cracks, illuminated by police floodlights. The painted lines of the parking lot were faded and torn up, bumpers in pieces, the chrome finish on the building tarnished. The once pristine glass windows were filthy, almost impossible to see through - and some were shattered.
“Wha-what’s going on? Why did you bring us to a crime scene, dude? What is this place -“
A loud knock on Jared’s window interrupted the unfortunate young man. It was a police officer who noticed their car pulling up to the barricade. He pointed two fingers down, signaling Jared to roll the window down, which he did.
“What brings you, uhh, fine folks out here tonight? Surely you see we’re holding an investigation here - we’d appreciate some privacy from the press, if that’s what you are. This one is, well, it’s grisly. For the sake fo the victim’s families, take your cameras an-“
Jared’s voice was cool as steel as he interrupted the officer, making direct eye contact; no blinking.
“Excuse me, officer, but we’re not press. I was bringing my friends here to my girlfriend’s diner, and I have to say I’m shocked by what I’m seeing. Why, I was just here last night for a little coffee. Can you tell me what’s happened?”
The officers’ expression was inscrutable for a moment while he analyzed what Jared had just said.
“You came to this diner, last night? Buddy, you have the wrong exit or something. It’s been shut down for months. We’re here investigating a murder - this place is pretty remote, so we just discovered the body, but - and you didn’t hear this from me - the worst part is we’ve found the victim has been sexually violated. Very recently. It’s a goddamned mess in there if I’m being honest. Now, since you fine folks just pulled up, and you’re claiming to have been here recently, I’d be remiss if I didn’t invite all three of you fine folks down to our station for some questioning. I’m only going to ask now.”
The gaze the two shared could ignite steel wool. Did he clock Jared that easily, this quickly?
It was dark outside the car, but he could see the officer’s right hand was on his hip, likely over a holster. Jared couldn’t hide his now-sour expression crawling out from the pleasant smile he had tried so hard to maintain now for so long. Not just tonight, but the past few weeks, months, years.
This is what happens, this is what happens when you try. You reach out, you connect, they do background checks, they invite you out to drinks, they spend hours reading your expression to find out the real you, and it takes one fuck up to unravel the whole person you’ve built to protect yourself here. Nothing can fix this but to leave again.
Tears welled in Jared’s eyes as he slowly moved his hands down the edge of his steering wheel, so excruciatingly slowly. The officer’s face had grown dark as well, and the silence of that night ensured Jared could hear even the man’s subtle muscular flexing as he readied his hand to reach for his weapon. The two in the backseat were practically struggling to breathe as they shivered violently in fear. Everyone here was connecting the dots.
His hands reached the bottom of the steering wheel, slender fingers gripping the smooth handle of a small pistol kept discreetly in a groove between his steering wheel and the dashboard. There was only one way out of all of this, and it wouldn't be easy. But he had done it again. And he refused to be killed.
Screams erupted from the backseat as he quickly raised his arm and fired with a shout, the metal knocking back against his hand, a gesture of unhappiness, a loud crack of rage and isolation that would once again brand his heart.
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